Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Redeeming the Time

Today's Moms seem to spend a lot of time running around. My Mom was home most of the time. Michael's Mom did not even get her drivers license until after he and I were married. I always wondered how she did that since his Dad was out of town a lot. I cut way back on my running around and now that we are down to one vehicle I am home most all the time. I sometimes get made fun of because I am such a home body. =)

We live in a very fast paced world. We are told we can have it all... but are we supposed to? I knew one family in Florida. They had 4 children. Each child was encouraged to follow their interests. There were different sports that they played, different musical instruments, etc. They were always going to a music lesson, a game or a practice. Their house and lives were chaos. They wanted to be part of all the extra curricular homeschool things, and they did a lot at church. The Mom was always complaining about being behind and never getting anything done. She said the little time she spent at home was spent fussing at the children to hurry up and grab their stuff because they had to go somewhere. They out junk food a lot and lots of fast food. It cut into their budget. I know another family that has their children involved in a lot of musical interests. It seems to work out for their family and there is never any complaining. We all have to decide what is right for our family. If it comes to the place where we feel like tearing our hair out, we might want to step back and ask God what He thinks we should be doing or not doing.

I was reading in the Proverbs one day and came across these verses.

Prov 7:10-12 Then out came a woman to meet him, dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent. (She is loud and defiant, her feet never stay at home; now in the street, now in the squares, at every corner she lurks.)

The thing that struck me that day was "her feet never stay at home." It was listed as a negative quality. Now, I have had this backfire on me. I was accused of calling someone a harlot. That is not my point at all. If you are not being able to do the basic things you are responsible for and you run around a lot, maybe you need to re-evaluate what all you are involved with.

I know that running around always costs us more money. It can cost gas money, but it costs in other ways as well. I LOVE garage sales. I usually do not go to them though because I find something that I can't live without and I really NEED it, but I did not know I needed it before I saw it. Plus, it is really cheap.... I need to HAVE a garage sale, not shop at them. If you have specific needs and keep a list going or if you have lots of children and that is where you get their clothes, etc. then garage saling can be a good thing... IF you stick to your needs. Thrift stores are another way you can spend money. The same rule applies... if you have needs and know what they are and can stick to them, a thrift store is a wonderful place to go. I find all sorts of little things that I pick up. Books seem to be my biggest downfall. I end up with tons of books because they looked good or I thought I might use them to make something, etc. However, many of them go right back to the thrift store because I found they were not so NEEDED after all. So, even though they only cost me a quarter, how many quarters have I wasted. My husband told me that I shop like a man. I go in, get what I want and come out. I do not like to dawdle and look at everything. Even shopping like that you can spend more than you intended. This can happen every time you go to the store. You run in for some apples and cheese. Then you see the breads and oh look at those oranges they have and oh look over there.... You come out with 3 bags full.

If you make a regular errand day each week, and purpose to stick to it, you will be surprised at how flexible you can be. If I go to make something for supper and realize I do not have an ingredient, I can't just run to the store since I don't have a vehicle. So, I come up with plan B. That might be using a substitute for that ingredient, or making the same thing and leaving it out, or changing what I make or even asking Mrs. Wonderful Neighbor is she has any I can borrow. Life just seems to flow a lot better when are home and have a routine. It is easier for peace to reign. What are your thoughts on this?


VoiceInTheWilderness said...

This is a great post with lots of good stuff in it. Sometimes I feel guilty for wishing I could be home more than I am. Thanks for the reminder that God has wired me to desire this.
We try to keep our commitments to a minimum. We are very involved in church, which on a slow, uneventful week is Wednesday night, Friday night, and Sunday morning/night. Outside of church, the only standing commitment we have is 4H, which meets once a month. There is just no way that we could let each of our children be involved in separate activities. We deliberately choose activities that all members of our family can participate in.

We try to be open to God's leading. This sometimes means that I load up the kids during the day and go visit someone, or attend a choral concert of some youth from church, or invite someone over for lunch. I much prefer having folks over than going somewhere.

;) I can't imagine someone accusing you of calling someone else a harlot. I'm glad I'm not the only person to find myself in those situations.

Unknown said...

If I run around too much in a week, I feel disjointed and not at peace. I don't like that feeling...

Tina Leigh said...

I cant believe you just called me a harlot!! LOL Marci this is a great post & I'm behind you 100%! If I could have my groceries delivered & have my grandbaby living next door....I probably wouldnt ever leave the house! I hate shopping too! I think people really get to involved in "STUFF" instead of getting involved with their kids & they let their kids get to involved in "STUFF" too. I am so glad my boys are grown...the schools play ball & everything else on wednesdays & sundays now!

Reviekat said...

Great post Marci! I try to keep my errands to one day a week if possible. It makes life so much easier for me plus it gives the girls a stable schedule as well.

LadySnow said...

Thanks or sharing Marci...this is all to true. When I had only Titus to watch after I went to town a lot...but it wasn't so bad then, but I did have to cut back. As the family grew...I naturally stayed home more. But...if I do go out a couple of times a week for something...definitely throws a "wrench" in my schedule and the schedules of the children.

Anonymous said...

We are also a "home body" family. That is one of the reasons that being a one car family works for us. D and I have been married for almost 18 years, and of that 18 years have spent 16 of them as a one car family. It works for us, and we don't have the chaos (and stress and high medical bills, etc) that this type of a lifestyle leads to. Our children are not involved in much outside of our home and church, and they enjoy that type of a lifestyle. I will say though, that even this type of a lifestyle can get very busy....I find that I get weekly (if not more often) calls from the church asking me or someone in the family to do this thing or that thing. If we were to say yes, we'd never be home in the evenings and weekends. We did fall into that trap, until I realized it was really taking it's toll on my honey.....he was stressed out and I couldn't figure out "what his problem was". We finally sat down and talked about it one night, and he told me that he never has any down time. I realized that he was exactly right, because I was letting the outside commitments to our church body become out of control. SO, as the "master calendar keeper" of the family, I have started telling people "NO" again.....and it works for us! :)

What I think is really sad is that the homeschool book authors are encouraging this type of a "go everywhere, be involved in everything" lifestyle, because there is a new "form" of homeschooling called "car-schooling" When I first heard about it a couple of years ago, it broke my heart! I was so sad that they are buying into this, instead of encouraging family's to be home and be together!

Thanks for posting on this topic, it is a rather controversial one, I have found, but it is such an important one! Thanks so much!

Love and blessings, and Merry Christmas!


Anonymous said...

This is truly a great post. I wish some of my family members would read this and understand that I am not alone. I have always believed God's way for me was in His Word. We have been married for 28 years. I have 10 children and I am raising a ganddaughter, too. I am a stay at home mom and I mean stay at home. Not one to run here and there and everythere. My place is at home. We believe it is my husbands place to provide for our family and my place to make sure what he provides provides. We small farm and raise as much as possible, the Bible says "by the sweat of our brow". God hs been good to us and I am thankful for everything. Doing all this does not leave time for running around. First God then my family.
God bless you and yours and
and Happy Holidays

Anonymous said...

You are always welcome to borrow something from me....oh, by the way, thanks for the egg this afternoon...(smile)