Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Today...

One year ago today I got a phone call telling me that my Mom had died. It seemed impossible... it still does. I woke several times last night and my first thought was of her and if she was alive at that point or not. When I got up I remembered that last year at that time this day was Steve and Gary's birthdays. A day of celebration. Then it became a day of mourning, yet still a celebration in the fact that my Mom was ushered into the presence of the God she loved and served. I can think back of her compassion and tenderness toward me the last time I saw her which had been August. With me being so sick, she was extra tender and sweet. I have never felt a hollow ache like I have in missing her. The Lord has been very faithful to me and to my family. Last year on this day, my life was changed. Part of it was gone, but also a new stage of life had started. The Lord gave me a new compassion to weep with those who weep. I had always felt bad when someone told me their Mom or Dad had died, but now I can weep with them, as I know the pain that comes with it. I can also share with them God's faithfulness. I hope and pray that God will continue to use this in my life to mold me to be more like Him, to help me to cling to Him. Thank you for letting me share my heart with you today. Thank you for all the prayers, cards, calls and support that you have given.

7 comments:

Lady_MSnow said...

I remember very well when you got sick last year and hearing that your Mother passed away. I can not imagine what last year was like for you. But we both know the Lord brought you through it and you are stronger spiritually for it. :)

Peggy said...

Nothing can take away that hurt of losing a mother. As you have done we can grow stronger in our faith and weep with others. Thinking of you today and sending up prayers.

Tina Leigh said...

Oh marci I hope you have a good day..that it will be somehow comforting. Sometimes bitter sweet memorys arent so bad. Blessings to you today.

PEA said...

It's certainly not easy losing a loved one...I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your mom a year ago. Sounds like you had an awful year last year:-( My most horrible year was 1979...my dad died in January and my baby died in December so I started and ended 1979 in heartbreak. My thoughts are with you at this time...I know how you're feeling. Hugs xox

Revee said...

Oh Marci, I wish I could be there to give you a big hug! I hope your day was filled with beautiful memories of your mom. :)

Mrs. Pivec said...

What a pretty mother you have, Marci. She has such a kind, kind face. I am sorry for your loss, but I do know that you have seen God's grace during this time.

My stepfather died last year in a sudden, tragic accident. I have learned from others who have experienced the grief process that the nearer you get to the anniversary, you begin to experience varying feelings - some of them physical. Perhaps you have learned this yourself this year... In any event, you can be more aware of it next year.

Be gentle with yourself and remember to breathe in some good, fresh air. Being out in God's world always helps me.

God bless you as you move through this time.

Karen said...

Marci,

I am praying the Lord will give you extra comfort this week. There are times when we draw even closer to the Lord, particularly when we are in sorrow.

I wish I could give you a hug and just sit by you and listen to you speak of the wonderful person your Mom was. From what you've written, I can tell she was a very nice lady and a great Mom!

Love, Karen