I just had one of those serious moments of regrets. Oh young people, if I could only get you to not just listen but to hear me. Life's choices can come back to haunt you. Make wise choices. Live as if God is watching you - He is!! Live as if you make a difference in your family and friends life - you do!!!
When I was a young teenage girl, our pastor's family had a girl just a year older than me. Chrissy and I were good friends. We were not good for each other though. Neither one of us made wise choices. I KNEW better. She was the one who encouraged me to do some of the firsts in my life that I am not proud of. I encouraged her in some bad areas as well. We could both be good girls and help out at church, but when we spent lots of time together, foolishness abounded.
Chrissy moved away and we lost contact. I heard through church folk that they lived out in Portland, Oregon. I spent 2 summers out on the Oregon coast. I had a friend who was driving into Portland one weekend to visit family and I looked up Chrissy's number and called her. She invited me for the weekend. I was working at a Christian conference center. Again, I KNEW better. However, we took up just like we had left off and had a weekend, that is another regret in my life. We corresponded a few times after that, but again, I lost contact with her.
Several years ago, I tried to find her online. It is hard looking up old girlfriends. If they are married, they have a different name and unless you know who they married you are out of luck. Chrissy's last name was very unusual, but it still turned up nothing on her or any of her family.
I have been looking around on facebook and have found some people from my past. We worked with the College and Career kids at a big church in Florida. I have found a bunch of them and gotten caught up on their lives. Today, I thought I would look for Chrissy. I put in her last name and actually got about 4 pages of people with that name. Only one had the first name of anyone in her family. I sent a message to him and asked if he was her brother. I told him I was searching for old friends. I heard back from him. He was her brother. I was all excited and I asked about her. He wrote back and told me that she had died of an accidental overdose. I cried. How much did I contribute to that life style. Would things have been different if I had stood up and dared to be a Daniel and shine forth for Jesus Christ? I will never know, but I do know that I have regrets. May the Lord help me to set other regrets right.
6 comments:
Marci, I'm so sorry that you are wondering what part of this outcome you contributed to. I have a life that is filled with similar moments.
Maybe your post will make someone stop and listen and change their ways.
I am sorry about your friend but sometimes we don't understand why God lets things happen. You have been a blessing 100 times over through your blog. Your love of God shows through.. thank you for being you.
Oh Marci...I am so sorry to here about this. I too understand what it means to have regrets. I have MANY and the devil will try and use those to eat away at us. The best thing to do, obviously, is to learn from them and pass the knowledge on to our children and others. I praise the Lord for his salvation and we can only hope that her last moments were of her in prayer to God.
Hi Marci,
We are so sorry to hear about your friend.
Marci...what can I say...been there and done that. We are responsible for our own choices tho...she was raised to know much better(I dont mean that in a ugly way either, parable of the seed) but satan has a strong hold when it comes to drugs and alcohol. Drugs and tv are his best weapons. I beleive we will be held accountable (which scares me to death) but not responsible if that makes sense. The enemy here is satan, the drugs and alcohol....dont let satan get over on you with guilt! You cant change the past...keep doing what you are doing (loving God and being faithful...telling folks about HIM)...you know GOD is bigger than that mess even as heart breaking as the news of your friends early death is.
Marci,
I'm so sorry about Chrissy. I'm sure you are grieving, and then carrying this heavy burden also. I'm lifting you up in prayer.
Hugs, teresa
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