I have a birthday coming up at the end of this week. I will be 48!! That is SO hard to believe. There is still a 20 something woman living inside this aging body. I remember when I was in my early 20's looking at people who were 50 and seeing an adult that was "getting older". =) I keep waiting to feel like I am one of those "older adults", but I still feel like this younger woman. I assume that those "older adults" still feel young as well. Time is something that just keeps on passing whether we want it to or not. I still would love more children, but maybe it will be grandchildren instead.
When you are going to be 48, you sit back and reflect where you are in life, where you thought you would be at this age and what caused the difference between the two. I was going to get married and have 12 babies. When the farm dream came and we pursued it, we again saw a house full of children helping us on the farm and living the "good life". God gave us a house with 6 bedrooms and we thought He was going to fill them up with children. Then we tried for a year and a half to adopt a sibling group of six. God has had other plans for us. As far as babies, He has given us one. He is a good one though. =) The Lord has placed lots of people in my life that do have lots of babies. Most of them have shared them with me. I had two friends who allowed me to be at their home births and then totally hog their children at church. I would have 2 babies in my arms and when someone asked to hold one, I would tell them to ask the mother of the baby. Both friends would say, "No, Marci has them." One of those two ladies, Rhonda, really shared her whole pregnancy with me. I got to help in the delivery and little Audrey was truly part mine. Melanie, who has a blog Candle By Night, shared her first little guy with me. Then just an hour after having her second one (at home), she called and told me to come over and cuddle that brand new little blessing. Not many people get to do that. So, God has blessed me, but in a different way than I envisioned.
The difference between the 2 outcomes of my life, is allowing the Lord to choose my path. His choosing is always for my best. He uses the hard things in life to hone me and to make me more like Him. However, He also showers down the blessings on us as well. I publically praise the Lord for all He has done for me!!